I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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