Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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