I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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