Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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