with your own penis?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
