I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize