Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
