who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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