I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
