Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
