i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
