You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
