Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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