Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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