I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
