It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
