So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
