haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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