end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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