What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
