its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
