Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
