she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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