her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
