That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize