Got a toothbrush?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
