Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my sisters under your porch take her home
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize