i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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