Cold hands, warm shart.
too bad you live with your parents still
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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