I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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