HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
