do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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