I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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