I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dick very happy bro
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
