I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
