11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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