I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
