on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
