so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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