this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize