is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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