Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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