I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i came on her dog
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
