i just made my gag reflex go away.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
