I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
