I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
