It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
