Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
