does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
