soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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