my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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