i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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