Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
