So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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