but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
