I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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